March 2009
4 posts
Oh Dear
—Elderly teacher at my school asks about my back— Me: Oh its much better, thank you. Teacher: Good. I remember the first time I had a back problem. I was cleaning, and I was bent over and then I tried to stand and I could not become erect. My Brain: You just swallowed your own tongue.
iPhone iPhone iPhone!!!!
The iPhone is the single greatist invention of our time. I know now why I constantly see people playing with their iPhone with no regard to the rest of the world. You know why? Because the rest of the world is BORING AND PLAIN and why deal with that when you can be on Facebook at the gas station? The iPhone has a camera whose digital quality rivals that of my ACTUAL camera. So what did I do this...
February 2009
5 posts
I feel better
Me: Feelings are stupid
My Principal: I am emailing that to everyone I know.
Seriously?
Its FRIDAY THE 13TH.
Why is Tumblr putting little hearts on my dashboard? SHUT UP TUMBLR, I KNOW TOMORROW IS SINGLES AWARENESS DAY.
Bitter? What? Nooo.
Happy thought of the day...
I have a boatload of vicodin left over from my excursion to the doctor last week.
Is it sad that I call that a happy thought?
January 2009
5 posts
Having 2 blogs is exhausting
Unfortunately, Tumblr is suffering because of my laziness.
Happy Inauguration Day!
To Do:
TiVo Inauguration (all 7 hours): check
Be totally inspired: check
Reaffirm my promise to make the world better: check
Cry in front of 500 children all huddled in the auditorium to watch their new president: CHECK
My new pick up line (try it for yourself)
delbertshoopman:
Look, I don’t want to fuck you, I don’t want your phone number, I just want to buy you a beer, take you out on the floor for a dance, and share a nice 5 minutes with a pretty girl… if you say no, you’re a bitch.
I’ve been without the internet for so long, I have like two weeks of tumblr to catch up on. And I have to say it makes me really happy when I get to posts like...
December 2008
21 posts
BrownCoats.tumblr.com →
jimisland:
Just because the show FireFly went off the air doesn’t mean we can’t nerd out and live vicariously through tumblr.
And just because “Buffy” and “Angel” are no longer on the air doesn’t mean we can’t still watch the DVDs over and over and constantly quote all the episodes and live vicariously through their lives because the answer to all of lifes...
Next she'll tell me to read, like, a BOOK.
Me: Also, I am disappointed [he] is not on facebook.
Arianna: That is a super pretty picture of you.
Me: how am I supposed to stalk him?
Arianna: Stalk him the old-fashioned way! With binoculars!
Me: AHHAHAHAA
Seriously, I cry EVERY time...
“At one time most of my friends could hear the bell, but as years passed, it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found one Christmas that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I’ve grown old, the bell still rings for me as it does for all who truly believe.”
~ The Polar Express
Also, I make stupid decisions.
Absinthe is nobody’s friend.
Least of all, mine.
I’m pretty sure in the near future I’m going to need to hire someone to be my handler, so I can stop making stupid decisions and having to deal with their stupid consequences.
Especially when the consequences result in unacceptable feelings.
Stupid feelings. There’s a drug for that, right?
I've found a place to live! →
It’s like living in Moulin Rouge. So what if it’s a bar?
FAIL →
My favorite so far?
The eHarmony one.
I like...
I like boys who are hot and nerdy. A lot.
And just so you know, hot is subjective, but nerdy is necessary.
Bad Girls Club, Season 2!
“I don’t date outside my race. Like, if a black person walked in here right now, I would be VERY respectful to them…. Mexicans… or, like, hispanic people though, they’re a little different, ‘cause like, I think they’re illegal.”
And this girl wondered why she almost got punched in the face later that night.
Bad Girls Club is fucking amazing. Or...
Its saturday afternoon
I’m in the mood for a good makeout. Like, I don’t want it to go any further than some good making out, but its Saturday afternoon and I am bored and a little sad and I want a good, solid, half hour makeout.
Is that really so much to ask?
Wow
Insanely wealthy people live in just a whole different world. A WHOLE DIFFERENT WORLD, I SAY.
In ADDITION
Apparently you can leave NOTES on certain peoples tumblr pages. Like people who look DAMN HOTT IN A SUIT while lounging on a lawn chair, and you’d like to TELL THEM THAT.
BUT APPARENTLY I CAN’T FUCKING FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO THAT EITHER.
Today is a stupid day.
Sometimes the "H" in "HG" means "HARDLY GIFTED"
It seriously shouldnt be this fucking difficult to navigate HTML.
I feel retarded. And yes, I realize “retarded” is an un-pc term considering I work with children and blah blah blah.
But right now, I am SERIOUSLY FUCKING RETARDED.
“French tips
Red Lips
Bitch is dangerous”
– Lace and Leather
Britney Spears
Twilight
NotTweety: I hate you and Dara.
sarandpty: why?
NotTweety: ....I read that damn book.
sarandpty: HAHAHAHA
NotTweety: I HATE AND LOVE YOU SOOOO MUUUCH.
sarandpty: HAHAHAHAAAAAAAA.... right? RIGHT? WITH THE SEXUAL TENSION!! AND THE..... MNNNYYEAH
NotTweety: I can entirely understand why you had to pause and....fan yourself.
sarandpty: you love it..... YOU LOVE EDWARD
NotTweety: No.... I do not..... (Yes I do!)..... No I don't!!!..... My self is fighting.
November 2008
1 post
Because one Blog isn't enough
I feel peer pressure to join Tumblr.
I cave to peer pressure pretty easily.
Thus, here I am. We’ll see what happens.