—Elderly teacher at my school asks about my back—
Me: Oh its much better, thank you.
Teacher: Good. I remember the first time I had a back problem. I was cleaning, and I was bent over and then I tried to stand and I could not become erect.
My Brain: You just swallowed your own tongue.
I have a Mexico souvenir injury that is still not healed (thanks asshole stingray). But in the grand scheme of things, getting stung by a stingray in Mexico is still more fun than dealing with kindergarteners all day.
My new rule: if there is still the possibility of wetting your pants, you may not hang out with me. Sorry Del.
Just buyin’ some fruit and a bag of oranges. No big deal.Yea, on my street corner.
Freaky.
Yes, but note the background. Sunny, beautiful, blue sky. In March. March 5th. And a third of the country is still buried in snow. We live here. Thats right, in L.A. BITCHES.
The iPhone is the single greatist invention of our time. I know now why I constantly see people playing with their iPhone with no regard to the rest of the world. You know why? Because the rest of the world is BORING AND PLAIN and why deal with that when you can be on Facebook at the gas station?
The iPhone has a camera whose digital quality rivals that of my ACTUAL camera. So what did I do this weekend? TOOK PICTURES. This might be a dangerous toy.
So, instead of telling you about my weekend, I’ll show you. I LOVE THE IPHONE.
First, I had yummy Ethiopian food with Dara and Arianna: 
Then Tina Tequila and I went to game night, and I took the cutest picture of her EVER: 
Pras was there. He is dashing and handsome and I’m pretty sure I sexually harassed him. He, of course, took it like a MAN: 
SIIIIIIIIIGH.
Game night was fun, and I met one of my new favorite people, Sarah version 2.0 
Then, the geniuses at game night decided that since our friend Ninad was DRNK drunk, he should obviously climb on all the chairs and leap off one straight up triple lutz figure skating style: 
This is before: 
And this is after: 
Who thought that was a good idea? NOT ME.
Then Chi came home, and acted like…. Chi. 
Then Pras drove me home, because I also might have been DRNK drunk. There are no pictures of that because it was not special. Then Sunday, hungover, I sat in my backyard and was partially healed by the sun:
…and then further healed by the lovely Thai massages we got in Venice beach. I think I totally love my life. And my IPHONE.
For some reason, this book is wildly popular in the Library. Kids are always asking for it. I don’t know why, but I always hated this book as a child.
Perhaps it was because the monkeys fucked up with the meticulously planned order of the caps, or the fact that they taunted him when he was clearly concerned about what was to happen to him now that his job was on the line, but I always felt a great amount of panic for the poor peddler.
The current economic state of the nation is giving me that same feeling.
Its FRIDAY THE 13TH. Why is Tumblr putting little hearts on my dashboard? SHUT UP TUMBLR, I KNOW TOMORROW IS SINGLES AWARENESS DAY. Bitter? What? Nooo.
I have a boatload of vicodin left over from my excursion to the doctor last week.
Is it sad that I call that a happy thought?
I also very much want this T-shirt. I especially love the fact that the dinosaur has braces.
